What's New . . .

A ten-year University of Chicago study suggests that many fathers and mothers aren’t sharing their work life with their children. The study, which involved 250 young adults, shows that many teens don’t understand the career paths that are open to them, and if they pick one, they don’t know how to get started. According to Barbara Schneider, a sociology professor who wrote about the study, fathers and mothers need to work harder to convey what they know about the world of work.

This conclusion rang true for Sue Shellenbarger, who cited the study in one of her recent Work and Family columns for the Wall Street Journal. She recalls overhearing her 9-year-old son tell a friend, “My mom types for a living.” With the way the workplace has changed in recent years, kids are getting a different picture of what we do to provide for them. What does Daddy do at work? He drives around talking on his cell phone, or he messes around on the computer, or he flies to faraway cities to meet with people, or he gets to spend some afternoons on the golf course.

To Think About . . .

Do your children know what you do for living? Specifically? Shellenbarger suggests telling stories that teach them about the workplace. It can be as simple as sharing about the interesting people you meet or the events you witness. She goes on to share these helpful insights:

• Kids are often less interested in your successes and more interested in the struggles you face and how you deal with them.
• They will tune in better if you use some dramatic touches. That isn’t to say you should exaggerate, but your kids will tune in more if they understand the daily fight you face. Who are the people or groups opposing you? Who in the cast of characters is on your side? Flavor the stories with dialogue and details that illustrate human character qualities -- good and not-so-good -- without criticizing or gossiping about the people involved.
• Your children will learn from how you think about your work. Is it a passion, or primarily a way of providing for your family’s needs? Tell your kids about situations that you really care about, the values that guide you to success, and what you’re learning through the various challenges.

Dads, there are so many ways we can prepare our children to be entrepreneurs, musicians, social workers, contractors, firemen, managers, teachers, or whatever they may choose to be. We can give them what they can’t get, even from school counselors or college advisors.

In the Trenches . . .

Well, it’s history . . . better yet, I’m history. After turning 50 years old yesterday, I’m ready to power up for another decade and more. Thanks to all who sent cards, e-mails and messages of support. I read each one, and I deeply appreciate your gracious encouragement. If you’re interested in seeing what the NCF staff concocted to announce my entrance into old age, click here.

ACTION POINTS for Committed Fathers:

1. Tell your kids two things you enjoy and two things you wish you could change about your work. Be sure to keep it positive.
2. Describe your average workday for your children. Include the number of phone calls, e-mails or conversations you have.
3. Discuss with your family the challenges faced by someone you know who is (or has recently been) unemployed. Consider some practical ways you may reach out to that family.
4. Ask your child what he would like to do when he grows up, then walk through a typical day for someone in that profession. If you can, arrange to visit such a workplace.
5. Check out more articles on navigating work and family commitments on our website here.