Communities

Home | Media | Features | Communities |ZOL Info

Men's Article

Making Fathering a Priority
By Ken Canfield
National Center for Fathering

What's New . . .

Two prominent Division 1 college football coaches are scoring touchdowns with their families. Bob Stoops and Bobby Bowden have more in common than leading a team to a national championship. Both men have made fathering a priority.

According to Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated, Stoops chauffeurs his kids to school every day and starts coaches meetings at 8:45 a.m., so the rest of his coaches can spend the early mornings with their families. On Wednesday nights, he and the entire coaching staff (and their families) gather for a dinner to build camaraderie. He’s a committed dad and family man.

As detailed in the book, The Bowden Way, Bobby Bowden is no different. Even though his children are grown, family life has always been a priority for him. Rearing six children on a modest income in the early days of his career was a challenge. He found creative ways to bring his children on trips. On the team bus after games, Bowden’s boys would crawl up and sleep in the luggage racks. He would take his daughters on speaking engagements throughout the season. Every summer, no exceptions, he took two-week vacations with his family. Now he’s the proud grandfather of 21 grandchildren. He even let the team coached by his son Tommy win when they matched up earlier this season.

To Think About . . .

Bowden and Stoops are committed family men who have also had challenges in rearing their children. They aren’t perfect, but they share a striking characteristic that has helped tremendously: they both had great dads who valued them and taught them life principles.

Stoops’ father was a high school coach and history teacher. He was the proud father of six children and loved to spend time with his family. After his father died, Bob dedicated himself to living a life like his father’s: simple, consistent and fulfilling. Being a national champion coach was just an add-on.

Bowden’s father was a faithful provider, servant and leader in the home. In a recent interview, Bowden listed his father and mother as the most influential people in his life.

Some of you had dedicated, consistent fathers who gave you thousands of mental pictures of a good father. Now your task is to faithfully carry on that legacy! For those of you who didn’t have a good dad, you can still build a healthy legacy that will produce more committed family men like Stoops and Bowden.

In the Trenches . . .

Fathering can be agonizing at times. During a recent 7 Secrets seminar, I was challenged to consider some of the unique issues facing immigrant fathers. Several dads approached me privately and confessed that they had left children and families in their native country to come and pursue employment in America . With great remorse and anguish, they said they had “fallen out of touch” with their children. I had no easy answers for those complex fathering situations; however, I did encourage the men to do whatever it takes to communicate love and support to their children in some specific way.

ACTION POINTS for Committed Fathers:

Discuss with another dad how success in your vocation or business could result in your failure as a father.
Take time during the long weekend to connect with each of your children individually.
Don’t wait for another “take you child to work day.” Consider ways to involve your child in some aspect of your work before the end of the year.
Invite another family or person to share your Thanksgiving meal.

Ken Canfield is the Founder and President of the National Center for Fathering. This article was adapted from Ken Canfield’s book The Heart of a Father . . . and is used by permission, copyright National Center for Fathering.

To subscribe to their free weekly newsletter from www.fathers.com or for more information on father-equipping resources, contact the National Center for fathering at www.fathers.com or 1-800-593-DADS. ©2003 NCF